source: http://linkedin.com
등록하는 순간 부적절한 콘텐츠를 중단합니다.
The sentence tone is too literal.
The noun 중단 (stop) and 순간 (moment) don’t fit into context since 중단 (stop) implies temporary stoppage and the subject of the ‘stop’ is not clear in context and 순간 (moment) delivers a literal meaning.. The sentence should be rephrased like 부적절한 내용이 포함된 글은 자동으로 차단됩니다 (it will be blocked when inappropriate contents are posted).
토론이 새로 등록될 때마다 메일을 보내 주세요.
The sentence tone is too literal.
The subject of 메일을 보내 주세요 is ambiguous due to the adverb 때마다 (for) and the verb 보내 주세요 (send me). 새로운 토론이 등록되면 메일로 알려 주세요 would be more natural..
이 그룹을 좋아할 만한 사람을 알고 있습니까?
The sentence tone is too literal. 좋아할 만한 사람을 is a literal wording for “anybody that might like.” The verb “like” is literally translated in context and makes the tone awkward.
다른 사람의 참가 초대
The possessive noun ending 사람의 sounds ambiguous (literally meaning “pariticipation invitation from other people”).