linkedin 링크드인 literal wordings

source: http://linkedin.com 등록하는 순간 부적절한 콘텐츠를 중단합니다. The sentence tone is too literal. The noun 중단 (stop) and 순간 (moment) don’t fit into context since 중단 (stop) implies temporary stoppage and the subject of the ‘stop’ is not clear in context and 순간 (moment) delivers a literal meaning.. The sentence should be rephrased like 부적절한 …

cisco 시스코 low grammar

Localised URL. target: http://www.cisco.com/web/KR/about/news/2012/9-12/news_1212.html low grammar in Cisco Korean Literal wordings 삶의 모든 영역 ‘연결’돼 있길 바라는 Y세대 The passive verb makes the tone literal and awkward. Reversed word order 이들은 무엇을 가장 먼저 할까? The object needs to be placed right before the verb to make natural. Awkward word selections: 침대에서 빠져 나오기도 전에 …

shopMCM broken systax and minimal grammar

http://shopMCM.com Broken Korean 정신이 녹아져 있는 (literally, immersed into/incorporated with wildlife mentality) Several space errors in description. How many are there in the highlighted area? (more than 6 in conservative way) Awkward/unreadable wordings 누적 금액별 해당하는 등급 shop MCM을 통하여 구매하신 내역만 (only for the purchase via shop MCM)  vs On-Line Outlet 상품을 구매하신 내역은 …