source: http://www.ibm.com/analytics/us/en/?lnk=ft target: http://www.ibm.com/smarterplanet/kr/ko/business_analytics/ideas/?lnk=ft 비즈니스 분석을 활용하고 있는 조직은 경쟁사보다 뛰어난 성과를 보이고 있습니다. The sentence reads awkward tone due to the present continuous tense. The simple present tense delivers a compact and clean meaning and gives a better emphasis. Smarter Analytics는 IBM의 비즈니스 분석에 대한 IBM의 접근 방식입니다. The repeat pronoun IBM makes the …
Tag: 민재홍
Microsoft 마이크로소프트 awkward wordings
source: http://windows.microsoft.com/en-CA/windows-8/meet target: http://windows.microsoft.com/ko-kr/windows-8/meet Get Windows 8 Pro on your current PC for an amazing price. 놀라운 가격으로 지금 여러분의 PC에 Windows 8 Pro를 설치하세요. The noun ending 가격으로 (amazing price) doesn’t fit in context since it is taken as a means to install Windows …
Apple iPhone 애플 아이폰 awkward wordings
source: http://www.apple.com/iphone/features/ target: http://www.apple.com/kr/iphone/features/ 놀랄 만큼 날씬해진 디자인에 디스플레이는 더 커지고 칩은 더 빨라졌습니다. The structure of the three phrases in the sentence are not consistent so the sentence reads awkward flow. The first one reads modifier+subject, the second subject+verb, the third subject+verb. As well, the shortened subjects in the second and third can be …
cisco 시스코 awkward wordings
source: http://www.cisco.com/cisco/web/solutions/small_business/index.html target: http://www.cisco.com/web/KR/networking/smbiz/products/index.html 원하는 비즈니스 방향으로 시행착오 없이 정확하게 나아갈 수 있도록 시스코가 도와드리겠습니다. Awkward: 비즈니스 방향으로 (following its business plan). 방향 (directional noun) doesn’t get along with the preceding noun “business” in context due to the mixed form with English and Korean. 비즈니스 플랜 (business plan) would be more natural. The subject in …
Linkedin.com 링크드인 awkward wordings
source: http://www.linkedin.com/home?trk=hb_tab_home_top target: http://www.linkedin.com/nhome/?trk=hb_tab_home_top&_l=ko_KR The alien term 비즈니스인 really bothers me. “share your knowledge and help your network”: Awkward passive verb form in target 특별 소개되세요 which literally means “be introduced specially.” The sentence 전문가가 되어… 되세요 is completely broken. …